A Fine Man
by Mrs.Norrington
Summary: James Norrington is a fine man that has been rejected by the woman he thought he loved. Observing it all is a longtime family friend Gwendolyn Speares, who has silently loved James for years. Will Elizabeth's rejection bring out the truth?
1. My Story

Disclaimer: POTC is not mine. I don't make money off of this...I just fantasize...:)

AN: I know…this isn't DMC compliant. I've still mixed feelings about the sequel so I choose to pretend it doesn't exist in my AU fan fiction world…

I love my Pru story, but for some reason I couldn't get this one out of my head and I couldn't even start on my Groves story until I wrote this one!. It just seemed like something James would do. He would have a friend that he'd known for years and never once consider her in a romantic light, while meanwhile, said girl is completely in love with him.

**Chapter 1**

My name is Gwendolyn Speares. I was born in England in a small country town. My father was a country squire of little to no renown and my mother was merely the daughter of a wealthy family. My past is really not remarkable in any way.

But to understand my story, you must understand the story of James Norrington. He was a close friend of my brother John's and being the annoying younger sister I was, I often insisted on accompanying them as they played. Therefore, instead of tea parties, I learned the art of fencing and heard tales of great naval battles.

Then one day, James Norrington left us. He didn't pass on or anything dreadful; he merely joined the Royal Navy, as his status as a younger son dictated. It was many months before I saw him again. Oh, he looked smart in his uniform and I simply melted in girlish delight. I was fourteen at the time and felt myself quite the woman.

Even then, I knew I loved him and would only love him. Perhaps at the time it was merely infatuation and my girlish fantasies labeled it love. But, oh, how deperately I cared for him, even then. He didn't notice me at all. Indeed, he still regarded me as the annoying younger sister as he always had. We'd really not had much time to get reacquainted before he was gone, my heart with him.

It wasn't all bad. I'm not the lovesick girl I'm sure I appeared to be. I accustomed myself to a varied life and hardly thought of him at all, save when John mentioned his adventures on the open sea. I convinced myself that I may have been born for him, but he clearly was born for someone else.

A few years passed. I got presented to society when I was sixteen, but few suitors came my way. I was a wallflower, shy and awkward. Perhaps it was for the best. I wouldn't feel right in marrying someone with no hope that I'd ever love him. And so I got used to the fact that spinsterhood was clearly in my future as I reached the age of 23.

Then my parents died in a carriage accident. That left my brother with all the debts of my father and the responsibility for me. It was decided that John would sell all of our holdings in England and we would move to Port Royal, in the Caribbean. John did his best to comfort me.

"James is stationed in Port Royal. You remember him, right?" he asked with a loving smile.

John was always rather dense when it came to some matters. In this case I was glad of it, for it made things easier to conceal when I finally saw James Norrington after all these years.

We arrived in Port Royal and settled into the small plantation. John was delighted as it seemed our fortunes could indeed be reversed. I contented myself with the usual jobs of overseeing the household staff, selecting the menu for dinner, and other such actions. Bless him, John never even mentioned my going out in society. He knew by now that I hated it.

Until one day over supper, he casually remarked, "Arrange for a particularly good dinner. I've invited Norrington to sup with us tomorrow."

My fork paused halfway to my mouth. Trying to regain my composure, I smiled. "Oh? How wonderful."

I was a nervous wreck the whole next day. I changed the menu at least three times until cook was completely vexed with me.

I spent at least an hour on deciding what to wear. And, as I was doing all this, I was mentally preparing myself to act with decorum, grace, and above all, never let either of them know how I feel. I even managed to convince myself that I felt nothing but friendship and fondness for James.

I was wrong. I knew it the moment I came down the stairs, clad in a dark purple gown. His eyes looked straight into mine as they changed from politeness to surprise.

He walked quickly to the stair to help me down the last few. "Is this really our Gwen…I mean Miss Speares?" he breathed in surprise.

"Please, it seems rather silly to be so formal. Call me Gwen…at least when you're around my brother and I."

"It wouldn't be proper…" James began.

"That's what you said when I wanted to try fencing…but I did it anyway. Therefore, I insist."

"Don't remind me. I taught you so well that you beat me as often as I defeated you!" he exclaimed as he escorted me to the table.

Over the course of dinner, it appeared that our friendship would take up exactly where it left off. Perhaps it was a consolation prize of sorts.

It was then that he announced his coming promotion. How proud he was to be one of the youngest Commodores in naval history. John and I both heartily congratulated him. No one was more deserving of a promotion. John had always pegged him to be a fine commander.

As the evening wound down, James asked John for permission to speak to me on a private matter.

"I am in need of advice, Gwen."

"I will supply it I am able." I smiled.

"How do you propose to a woman you've known for quite awhile but have never approached with your feelings?" he asked nervously.

My heart stilled and my breath stopped for a moment before both resumed with great speed and force.

"Am I to understand?"

"That I wish to marry? Yes, this promotion has brought me to see that I lack one essential thing to make my life complete. A wife and a family…"

"Go on." I urged. Could it be that my dreams might finally be fulfilled?

"I was wondering if I could rehearse my proposal to Miss Swann with you."

Shock. Complete Shock.

"Let me make sure I understand you…You want me to pretend to be the Governor's daughter so you can practice proposing to her?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"I don't think that's appropriate." I had to get away. Now. Preferably before I could bash his head in.

"You just said earlier that we don't have to stand on ceremony and you're the only one I could ask to do this. I can't go to Miss Swann unprepared. I'm nervous enough as it is. Please, will you do this?"

I sighed.

"If it will make you happy, I suppose I must."

"Excellent. I'll be back tomorrow at two." He kissed my hand and left. I ran to my room to be alone in order to resign myself to the inevitable.

I always knew that he'd take a wife. But it wasn't until that very moment that it became a reality did I realize that there would always be a small hope that he'd notice me as a woman rather than a sister…And now, even that's gone…

Surely, I am strong enough to move on…I am not some poor ninny who's happiness depends solely on a man...

The next day came and in the afternoon, James arrived promptly when he said he would. I wanted to get his over with as quickly as possible.

"Well, let's get down to it, shall we?" I resolutely asked him.

He cleared his throat. "Miss Swann…"

I nodded. "Commodore."

"May I have a word with you?"

"Of course."

I will not record here his proposal. Suffice it to say, it was proper, stuffy, and entirely James. Being the fact he never requested editing, I allowed his version to go on. After all, would it really be such a crime to have it be such a bad proposal that Miss Swann would refuse? It's evil, I know, but James is a big boy. If he can't take care of proposing to the woman he wants to marry, I certainly can't take care of it for him.

And that is the story of James Norrington up until today. I am to attend his promotion ceremony shortly. He confided in me that he is to propose to Miss Swann afterward...


	2. The Aftermath

**Chapter 2**

Everyone knows what happened at the promotion ceremony. Elizabeth Swann fell off the battlements and was saved by the pirate Jack Sparrow. There were rumors that the Commodore had proposed, but most people didn't believe it. I knew better…

He was so nervous, and I reprimanded myself for actually finding it endearing. This could not happen if I were to go on. Lord forgive me, but was it wrong to have cheered silently when Miss Swann fell off the battlements? Of course, I did so after I knew she was safe. I'm not a complete monster.

It wrenched my heart to hear the way James shouted "Elizabeth!" when he discovered her plight. If Gillette hadn't intervened, he would have jumped in after her, and surely would have been hurt!

That night the pirates of the Black Pearl attacked Port Royal. As our plantation was just beyond town, so nothing of note occurred to us. John went into town when the cannon fire was heard but refused to allow me to go. I got no sleep that night. I waited and worried the whole time, pistols in both hands.

The next morning, John returned. It seems that Miss Swann had been kidnapped by the pirates. Otherwise, the town was trying to recover from the reckless destruction pirates cause. Being that it was safe, I accompanied him back to town and began helping with the cleanup and comforting those who had lost family members.

It was in the process of this that I overheard the blacksmith's apprentice, Will Turner, confront James over the attempt to rescue Miss Swann…

Turner was frantic as he feverishly stated, "They've taken her! They've taken Elizabeth!"

James was his usual cool disdainful self. "Murtogg, Remove this man…"

Will spoke again. "We have to hunt them down. We must save her."

Governor Swann replied, "And where do you propose we start? If you have any information concerning my daughter, please share it."

One of the soldiers, Murtogg, I believe spoke up. "That Jack Sparrow. He talked about the Black Pearl."

His partner in confusion, Mullroy added, "Mentioned it, is more what he did."

Turner shot back, "Ask him where it is. Make a deal with him. He could lead us to it."

Norrington calmly said, "No. The pirates who invaded this Fort left Sparrow locked in his cell, ergo they are not his allies." He turned towards Swann. "Governor, we will establish their most likely course…"

Suddenly, Turner threw his hatchet and buried it in the middle of James's map. "That's not good enough!" he barked.

James had had enough. Grabbing Turner by the arm he bit out, "Mr. Turner, you are not a military man, you are not a sailor. You are a blacksmith and this is _not_ the moment for rash actions. Do not make the mistake of thinking you are the only man here who cares for Elizabeth."

My back sank against the wall I had been standing beside. A wave of hopelessness washed over me as I realized how much James truly cared for the girl. He would never be mine, no matter what I dreamed. It was high time I realized that and moved on. I resolved to make good on my promise to myself that I go on. No more delusions of what might have happened; in time, my love would fade and I could find someone new. No more hiding in the shadows…

I quickly began walking away, but James saw me before I could disappear successfully. "Gwen…er, Miss Speares!" he called out.

I stopped and waited for him to reach me. "Yes Commodore?

He appeared hesitant, quite unlike the man of action he had appeared to be just moments before. "I trust you and your brother were not harmed last night?"

"The pirates never progressed that far. We were entirely safe…you were not hurt?"

He shook his head. "No, I was not, but Miss Swann…"

Ignoring the quick pain, I responded, "Yes, I heard. Do be careful. I would not want you to be hurt." I curtsied. "Good day."

He bowed and returned to the Governor. I found a quiet corner to cry, the last cry I would have over that man…

What happened to James on his mission to find Miss Swann I can only tell through what I heard at the time. Rumors flew rampant through the town. Rumors of undead ghostly pirates, Captain Jack Sparrow, and battles seemed quite fantastical.

The most talked about rumor, however, was that Miss Swann had agreed to Norrington's proposal. I for one, who thought that anyone who refused James would have to be a fool, believed the last rumor. Miss Swann was no fool, much as I would have wished her to be one at that moment…

The involvement of Captain Jack Sparrow seemed to be at least partially true, as the Dauntless returned with the man on board. The hanging was to occur shortly after their arrival in Port Royal.

I never talked to James in the intervening days. His time was filled with the necessary business of returning after a battle. Writing condolence letters for those who had died was never something I would have wished on anyone, but James went on, the honorable commander.

The day came and as hangings were public, a rather large group of people came to see the deed done. I never much liked hangings, but I went to perhaps see if Miss Swann had indeed agreed to James's proposal.

I could not glean anything from their nearness. Miss Swann was beside her father as was customary. James was standing beside the Governor on the other side, eyes focused on Sparrow on the gallows. I stood just off from their position.

Will Turner came up to the Swanns and the Commodore. Mr. Turner was dressed quite ridiculously, with an enormous feather in his hat. He reminded me of a storybook hero. Turner greeted each of them in turn before resting his eyes on Elizabeth.

He then proceeded to tell Miss Swann that he loved her. James's face, normally controlled, projected the dismay he was feeling. I knew that if Turner were to declare his love for Miss Swann, James could never marry her. He was too noble for that.

Things happened quickly after that. Miss Swann pretended to faint to distract James from Turner's actions. The lever released the floor from under Jack Sparrow's feet. Turner plunged through the crowd and threw a sword towards the gallows to provide Sparrow with a place to stand and thus not hang.

Turner managed to get Sparrow cut down and the two of them caused a melee as they tried to escape. James managed to surround them just as they approached the battlements.

James, his sword pointed at the criminals, said grimly, "I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt, but not from you."

Governor Swann exasperatingly proclaimed that he had granted Turner clemency and was astonished that Turner repaid him in this way.

"And a good man." I heard Turner say. "If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two pairs of boots instead of one, so be it. At least my conscience will be clear."

"You forget your place, Turner." James said.

"It's right here, between you and Jack."

Elizabeth quickly moved by Turner's side. Taking his hand, she said, "As is mine."

Governor Swann ordered the weapons to be lowered.

James looked saddened. "So this is wear your heart truly lies?"

She nodded, her eyes pleading for him to understand. "It is."

Sparrow chose that moment to make his escape attempt. He fell over the battlements into the water, something everyone thought was extremely stupid until someone saw the sails…

As they watched the ship, Governor Swann stated that something to the effect that piracy could sometimes be the right course. That apparently decided the matter for James.

Turning to Mr. Turner, he said. "Mr. Turner." He unsheathed his sword. "This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect in his life."

So James did know the truth of the matter. In his own way, he was telling Turner he won. My heart warmed with pride at his gallant actions as it ached for the disappointment and pain he must be feeling…

James began to turn, certainly to go to his office. His lieutenant burst out, "Commodore! What about Sparrow?"

Norrington lifted his eyebrows. "Well, I think we can afford to give him one day's head start."


	3. Comfort and Solace

**Chapter 3**

James passed by me in a rush, not even noticing I stood there. I was surely the only one who noticed his expression. It was one of intense pain, of rejection. It was then I vowed that he would not spend this night alone, left only to his self-critical thoughts. He would need a friend, whether he admitted it or not.

I found him in his home an hour later. He sat in a comfortable chair that he kept for guests. A glass of what I assumed was rum was in his hands, a bottle halfway empty by his side.

"James." I said softly.

He looked up. "Gwen. You're not supposed to be here. It's not proper."

"Hang proper. You need someone to talk with tonight." I inhaled the scent of rum. "How much of that bottle have you drunk this evening?"

"It was full when I started." So that's why his words were slightly slurred.

I frowned at him. "You shouldn't drink that much."

He arched in eyebrow. "I'm trying to get drunk. Drinking all of it is the point."

"Fine. If you will, then I will drink too." I poured a glass.

"You shouldn't do that."

"But I will. Just to prove to you that I can, if nothing else."

"Fine." He bit out.

"There is no reason to get drunk. You need to talk, not get soused."

"Of what? I have nothing I wish to talk about."

"How about what happened today? You must be angry...Miss Swann's callous rejection of you…" I began.

He stopped me with a wave of his hand. "I knew when she accepted that she didn't want me. I compromised my morals…"

"How?"

"I agreed to save Turner when she asked for it as a wedding gift. I said that I served others." He snorted derisively. "I served myself…who am I fooling? And because I was so selfish, good men died. I can never forgive myself…"

"James, I know you. You would have saved Turner as he was a citizen of Port Royal, as you swore to do. Perhaps it was selfish, but everyone lapses…"

"I cannot afford to lapse."

"You are human, James! Human! Miss Swann should never have agreed to your proposal…"

"Foolishly, I thought I could convince her to love me as I loved her."

I looked away then, unable to think about that, unable to hold my love in if I looked at him. He didn't need a foolish woman such as myself declaring her love for him and I didn't need to do it because it would only provide me with awkward pity from a man in love with a woman who had so abused his regard.

"If anyone was a fool, it is Miss Swann for not realizing what a fine man you are…"

His shoulders slumped down. "I am not a fine man."

I took his face in my hands. "Yes, you are. I believe you are a fine man. Doesn't my opinion count for anything?"

"There is so much you don't know." he whispered.

"I know YOU, James. That is enough." Unconsciously, I was stroking his cheek. His eyes closed. My heart clenched. It was so obvious to me that he was starved for the love and attention most people expected as their due. I wondered how no one else saw the desperate loneliness he no doubt coped with everyday…always supporting and protecting and never asking for anything in return...

"What does it matter? No woman will ever want this fine man…" he said bitterly.

It slipped out. I couldn't see him criticize himself any further.

"I do."

His eyes opened. "What?"

I gathered my bravery. "I do. Please don't turn me away."

My lips pressed to his as I sat upon his lap. I had no idea what to do, having had no experience in matters such as this, and he had become very still...

I leaned back. Blushing, I whispered, "I'm sorry. I don't have much experience with this…"

His hands curved around my head and suddenly, his lips were on mine, searching. His tongue traveled over my closed mouth, begging for entrance...


	4. Possession

**Chapter 4**

I woke up an hour or so later in James's bed. Our bodies were still entwined. James had a protective arm thrown over me and his chin touched the crown of my head. I turned over to look at him. He looked younger, more carefree in his sleep. There was nothing of the stern Commodore in his face. I smiled softly. He may not love me, but at least I would have this memory…

He was still asleep and I found it best if I left before he awoke. I slipped out of bed quietly. He frowned in his sleep and grabbed my pillow as if it were a substitute. He looked so moody at that moment, as if he were a child that had just lost his teddy bear.

My fingers brushed a lock of hair from his eyes once I had redressed. "I love you, James…"

I left after that, taking a memory that would have to last me a lifetime…

James woke up groaning to a pounding headache. He tried to remember what had happened yesterday over the hammering going on inside his head.

He had returned to his home and decided to get thoroughly drunk in hopes of numbing the embarrassment of it all. The memories were a bit fuzzy after that.

James remembered being in a bed with…Gwen? Surely it had to be a dream! An extremely vivid dream, if James was remembering things accurately. Gwen was beautiful and in his dream she was extremely passionate. God, the pleasure he got from her…

Shaking his head, James got up and quickly got dressed. In a hurry to get back to work, he went down to his dining room for his customary solitary breakfast.

He sighed. For a brief moment, it had seemed that his solitary meals would end, but he had to let Elizabeth go. She made her wishes and desires plain, none of which included him. That hurt, though not as much as he'd thought it would. It actually hurt him more because of the fact that he had been rejected again…Consciously he even registered relief that Elizabeth had declined marriage to him.

_Perhaps we would never have been happy together. I could not have let her marry me when it was plain she pined for another…but I had so hoped she would have loved me enough to marry me…_

James mechanically went through his workday, filing reports and the like. The only difficulty came when he tried to explain to Gillette that he despite his comment yesterday, he was not quite ready to go after Sparrow.

"But sir!" his subordinate protested, "You said-"

"I know what I said. We will go after him, but not today. He, after all, did help rescue the Governor's daughter…"

"Don't let your feelings for that girl interfere…" Gillette reprimanded.

James's voice was cool as he responded, "I do not need your accusations, Lieutenant. I have a meeting with the Governor later to discuss our plans in relation to Sparrow and what happened. Dismissed."

Truth be told, James didn't even know why he was now so reluctant to chase after Sparrow. His duty demanded he do so immediately. Yet something was holding him back…

Perhaps it was Governor Swann's comment yesterday about piracy sometimes being the right course. Perhaps the world was not so black and white as he'd hoped…

He met with the Governor over tea. Both men decided on a story to tell James's superiors in London. Supernatural pirates would never be believed, but the men tried to stay with the truth the best they could.

They also discussed the charges against Captain Sparrow. James was beginning to believe that not all the stories about him were true… The man was a pirate yes, but what crimes did he actually commit? Swann proposed that perhaps they should employ him as a privateer against the other pirates and privateers that roamed the waters…Or at least grant him a pardon for services rendered in the whole incident…

James wasn't inclined to believe that Sparrow would operate under such conditions, but it could at least be said that James had offered Sparrow an alternative to hanging…Beyond that, James was bound to uphold the law…

Having settled quite a few things with Swann, including a rather embarrassed apology for his daughter, James left the mansion a bit lighter than before. Oh, he certainly was not happy, but neither was he forlorn. It appeared that he would recover and be back to his normal unemotional façade soon enough…

James entered his home just as his housekeeper was leaving the drawing room. He nodded to her in greeting and was about to walk on when he heard her say, "Sir?"

He turned back. "Yes, Mrs. Simpson?" he asked.

"Are you all right, sir? You are not hurt?"

At first James thought her to be referring to the rejection yesterday. Then he realized that might not be the case. Surely his housekeeper would not be that personal… "No…Why do you ask?"

"Well, I changed the sheets today in your room and there was a bit of blood on it…" Mrs. Simpson trailed off.

He frowned…_Could it be that it wasn't a dream? That would mean…_ His face cleared. "Just a small mishap," he lied to cover his confusion, "nothing serious."

Mrs. Simpson curtsied before moving off. "Just so, sir. I've dinner ready when you're hungry."

James nodded. "Thank you. I believe I'll change first…"

He was thinking furiously the whole time he changed.

If what he thought was true, it wasn't a particularly vivid dream, but a reality. Gwen had been here. His mind cleared as he remembered…Yes, she was drinking with him and trying to get him to see that he was…what did she say…a fine man. Then she kissed him. God, that felt wonderful. He closed his eyes, remembering how she had made him feel…

He'd never realized how small she was. He carried her up the stairs and hadn't even begun to breathe heavily. Then they entered his bedroom and began removing their clothes…and then…

James froze. He had made love to Gwen! Gwen, the small girl he'd known forever…Gwen, the beautiful woman that he'd failed to notice all these years…Gwen, the woman he cared for…

And then a thought stuck home. She was…or had been, a virgin. He was her first lover. _Her **only** lover, if I have anything to say about it._ His face set with his resolve. He felt a bit hypocritical, being so strongly possessive over someone who had been a 'friend' the day before, but reason was having nothing to do with his feelings, a concept quite alien to him. He wasn't quite sure he liked that...reason was always the safer surer course.

_I must marry her now. I took her virtue._ He froze again. _She might be carrying my child even now._ An image solidified in his mind, of Gwen, gloriously pregnant with his child. Nothing had ever seemed so right…nor so sudden…

He would have to speak to her. **Now.** Before anything else happened, he would have a confirmation from Gwen and a talk about their future. For like it or not, her future would be his future from now on…

As he prepared to journey to her home, James managed to convince himself that he only felt such urgency because of what he had done to her the night before. He had ruined her and didn't even remember it until his housekeeper brought the sheets up! Ashamed he was of how ungentlemanly he had acted…He was supposed to set an example for his soldiers on how to conduct themselves…and he had failed. Again he didn't want to examine how he didn't completely regret it...even as he condemned himself for it.

His stomach was churning as James walked to the drawing room. He'd never felt this nervous, not even when he proposed to Miss Swann. He stopped suddenly as he observed the scene before him.

A middle aged man sat beside Gwen and she was laughing at something he had just said. Neither of the pair noticed his presence.

The stranger took one of Gwen's hands and sobered. "Miss Speares, I must ask you something."

Gwen frowned but quickly recovered with a smile. "Go on…" she urged.

"My wife died more than a year ago during childbirth. I loved her and still feel the pain from my loss. I have tried to go on without her and raise my son, but I find that he needs a mother as much as a father…"

"Are you proposing?" Gwen's free hand pressed against her chest.

"A marriage of convenience, yes. I would not ask you to fulfill the more...private marital duties. I loved my wife with my whole heart and do not have any room for any other woman in that regard. What I ask of you is companionship, and a mother for my child. Would you agree to that?"

Gwen was speechless. She'd met the widower a few weeks prior and he had visited a few times. They'd talked of many things and actually had a great deal in common…but she never suspected he would propose…

"May I think upon it? It's a big decision…"

Mr. Jones was unable to answer because a deep voice broke into their conversation.

"One you won't have to make."


	5. Take What You Can

**Chapter 5**

James's gut wasn't churning with nervousness now. In fact, it was roiling with another emotion entirely, one that wanted desperately to rip the widower apart for even approaching what was his…

_His? Yes, of course…always his, no one else's._

Gwen started when she realized James had entered the room. Her heart began beating forcefully against her chest.

"Commodore, what a…lovely surprise…" Gwen said breathlessly.

"Indeed. Good day." He nodded his dismissal of Mr. Jones.

Jones picked up the signal admirably. "I must be going, Miss Speares…You will give me your answer, I hope?"

She smiled. "Ye-"

James cleared his throat meaningfully.

After Jones finally left, Gwen spoke to James cooly.

"Why did you interrupt my conversation? The man was proposing…"

"Does it matter? You aren't going to accept…" He was sure of that.

She frowned at him. "I don't know. I'm certainly going to consider it."

He glared at her. "You can't be serious!"

"He's offering me protection through marriage and a family."

"He'll never love you. You deserve someone who loves every part of you…" _Every beautiful part of you…_

"Those types have never been beating down my door." She smiled wryly, as ignorant as he of the jealousy James was experiencing…"Now, may I inquire as to the reason for your visit?" She was stiff, uncomfortable now. James reasoned it stemmed from what they did last night…if they did anything, which he still had to confirm…

"Gwen, what did you do last night?"

His only indication of the truth was her blush. "I…I…read a book."

"Indeed? I would prefer the truth, if you please…"

"I did read a book, James…" It wasn't a lie. She did try to read a book when she returned home. Not that she was able to concentrate on it…

James couldn't ask any more questions because John entered the room.

"James! Sorry about the whole to do at the fort yesterday. Miss Swann didn't deserve you…"

"Yes, well I'm not sure who deserves me, as you say."

He desperately wanted John to leave. James had to find out from Gwen whether or not what he thought happened really happened. She was being deliberately obtuse, he was sure of it. It seemed he would have to be rather more direct…

Seizing on a different idea, James turned to his friend. "John, may I talk to you in your office?"

"Of course, James, though I don't know what you can't discuss in front of Gwen here…"

"It's a delicate matter…" James said as he followed the man to John's study.

"What is it then?"

"I wish to ask permission to court your sister."

John's face broke into a large grin. "Congratulations, old chap! I never thought you'd realize what you already had…Of course. Court her, marry her. She's always held a flame for you…"

James was shocked…He'd never realized… "She cares for me?"

"She loves you. Always had. Never thought you'd realize that she returned your feelings…"

It appeared John was far more observant than either Gwen or James had realized…

"Returned?"

John's eyebrows rose in astonishment. "Don't tell me you don't even know you love her…"

"I don't. I care for her, certainly…"

John huffed. "I'm afraid I can't give you permission to marry her then. Not until you realize your feelings. I won't have my sister being married to you if you don't think you love her…"

"It's vital that I marry her…" James gritted out.

"That's a bit better, but my answer is still no…I suppose you'll be wanting to court Gwen now though? She's probably still in the drawing room…"

James stood. "Actually, I have to run a few errands first…You will be at the small dinner party that the Governor is throwing, yes?"

John nodded as he walked James to the door. "Both Gwen and I have agreed. As has Mr. Jones…I think he's sweet on her…"

James was grim as he stood in the doorway. "Indeed. He'd just proposed…"

"I know. Didn't think he would today, but apparently he's eager. Might steal her away from you…"

"No he won't. I'll see you later tonight then."

James left, his mood not improved from the visit. He didn't even notice Gwen staring at him from a window…

When James arrived at the Governor's Mansion, he saw that Gwen was already surrounded by several people. It would be impossible to talk to her immediately. He was no coward though. James was already formulating a plan of action to get her alone.

Mr. Jones beat him to it. Jones took Gwen away from the crowd and took her outside. James quietly followed them and hid, not having a qualm about listening in…

"Have you thought about my proposal then?" Jones asked.

Gwen turned to him, her face filled with trepidation. "I have."

"And your answer?" The widower was quite eager to hear it. Too eager, in James's opinion.

"First, I have to be honest with you…" Gwen bit her lip nervously.

"What is it? That you care for the Commodore?"

Gwen gasped. "You know?"

"Most everyone knows. I don't hold it against you."

Gwen's face had turned red from embarassment.

"That wasn't quite what I was going to tell you…"

"Then what secret do you have then?"

"I'm…not pure. I couldn't marry you without telling you the truth." She hung her head, not in shame but in the embarrassment of having to admit it to someone else…

Mr. Jones was silent for a moment. "When…is it possible that you carry the man's child?"

Gwen looked away, unable to look at the man. "Last Night…and yes, it is possible…I understand if you don't wish to marry me…"

"Nonsense, dear. I cannot fault you for making a mistake…and if you do carry a child, I will claim it as mine."

James couldn't take it anymore. _A mistake, indeed._ His theories had been confirmed and every bit of him screamed to stake his claim on Gwen before he lost her.

"No you won't." James bit out decisively.


	6. Give Nothing Back

**Chapter 6**

Gwen jumped a foot in the air. "James! Really, must you do that? How…much of that did you hear?" Her eyes were filled with nervousness…

"Enough," he said softly, "Mr. Jones, I do believe that you should look elsewhere for a bride. Miss Speares is to become engaged shortly…"

His tone was ominous, his features forbidding.

Jones nodded. "Of course, Commodore. Miss Speares…"

Jones left the couple alone.

"James…" Gwen began.

"Were you really going to marry him…and have him claim my child as his own?" His voice was lethally soft.

"You don't know I'm with child…"

"After last night you very well could be!" he exclaimed angrily.

"I would have broken it off if I were…"

"But would you have told me?"

Gwen hesitated. "Yes…"

James was detected her pause.

"You might not have though. Why did you do it?"

"That's private."

He glared at her. "Oh really? I think after last night I have a right to know, dear fiancée!"

"I am not your fiancée!"

"Yes, you are! Come on, we're going to see your brother…"

James had to practically drag her in, but he managed it. After being granted privacy in the Governor's study, James felt that John was owed the whole truth…

"John, something has been brought to my attention that changes my plans completely. I wish to marry your sister at once…"

John frowned at him. "I told you…that I wouldn't agree…"

Gwen interrupted, "Thank you, John, for at least letting me make the decision…"

James glared at her. "You made your decision last night, Gwen."

"Do you even remember?" she shot back.

"I remember everything. Every last aching moment. At first I thought it to be a vivid dream…"

"Exactly! You can't prove anything!"

"I heard you tell that Jones fellow that you weren't pure! I think I can put two and two together, Gwendolyn!" he seethed.

John finally managed to be heard. "Could one of you explain about 'last night'?"

Gwen spoke first. "Nothing, John. Nothing that concerns you."

James frowned at her. "I didn't want to tell him this, but you're forcing me to do so. John, last night…I'm afraid I got to…know Gwen far better than I ever had before…"

John frowned in confusion. Perhaps he was a bit dense in some areas after all. "I'm glad you two got know each other…"

James groaned. "No, John. I…got to know her in a way only a husband should."

John finally got the picture. His gaze shot to Gwen in astonishment. "Is that true Gwen?"

She nodded. "It is."

John's face turned stern, a quite rare emotion for him. "Then you two will marry at once." he declared.

"John! You can't be serious!" she cried.

"Of course he is, Gwen," James added, "Surely, you knew what would happen…"

"But…"

"No, buts Gwen. I let you remain unmarried because I didn't want you to be unhappy in marriage. You've made choices that have led you here…You will marry as soon as the banns are read…I would have you marry sooner, but tongues would wag even more than they will when society finds out…"

Gwen's face was defiant and only James observed the tear that ran down her cheek. _Am I really so repulsive to her? Am I only desirable in bed and not as a husband?_

The wedding quickly approached in the coming days. Gwen made all the necessary decisions, but her heart wasn't in it. The marriage seemed to be a paltry imitation of what it should be.

John tried to cheer her up. He reminded her that she'd loved James for the longest time and should be happy. Gwen was quite surprised that he'd observed that. It really did appear that everyone knew…perhaps, thankfully, with the exception of her future husband…

And she wasn't happy. She should be, as John had reminded her. She was getting married to the man she loved. She might even already be carrying his child. Despite the positive, Gwen was miserable. She knew he'd never love her…that he still probably loved Elizabeth and would pine for Elizabeth while being married to her…

The repulsive thought occurred to her that he could very well pretend she was Elizabeth when they made love. The idea of being a substitute made her cold inside. Nothing made her feel the way a bride should on her wedding day.

Even the ceremony seemed strained. Gwen felt as if all the guests knew what had happened and were in the belief that this was anything but a love match…She crumpled inside for the girlish dream that was being crushed today.

Still, she saw James at the altar looking splendidly handsome in his naval uniform. His eyes obviously appreciated the way she looked as they positively ate her up as she approached him. Their gazes remained locked for the remainder of the ceremony.

Soon enough, they were married. They left the wedding breakfast as soon as was politely possible, though James had wished that moment was far earlier than it was. James had wanted to leave the moment his officers protested that they had to kiss the bride. He wasn't quite sure which of them he'd kill first and whether the admiralty would court-martial him for it…

They arrived at his home…their home and she was properly introduced as his wife to the servants. James then proceeded to give her a tour of the house. An hour later, they were served supper in their room.

The maids had undressed Gwen until she wore a sheer nightrail, covered by a robe that barely covered her. James had taken off his coat, wig, and cravat, leaving him only in a shirt open at the neck and breeches, an unusual look for him. Very few people had seen James Norrington in anything but full uniform.

There wasn't much conversation during their meal. Gwen was more nervous than she'd ever been the first time they had come together. There was just something in the fact that it was their _wedding night_ that caused her trembling.

James had quickly perceived the turmoil of her emotions and inquired about it. She smiled shyly…"I know it's silly…but I'm still a bit nervous…"

"It's not silly…This time we both know that we're coming together for the first time as husband and wife…I have to confess that I'm a bit nervous as well…"

She frowned in confusion. "You?"

He gave her a wry smile. "Yes, me. I don't want you to fear what we're going to do. I know it hurt last time…I want you to know that it only caused pain because you were a virgin…It won't hurt any longer, not as long as I take care…and I promise you that I would never harm you…"

She smiled sadly. He frowned. "What's wrong…"

She shook her head. "Tell me." he ordered.

"No."

"Gwen, tell me. As your husband, I am bound to help you…"

"I can't"

"Tell me."

She stared mutinously up at him and shook her head.

James frowned forbiddingly at her. "Gwen...Are you well? Is there something I can do? Should I fetch a doctor? Gwen tell me!"

"NO!" she yelled emotionally.

"Gwen..." he warned.

"Fine! I'm afraid I'm just a substitute for Elizabeth! That you still love her and will never care for me!"

"I care for you!"

"Not the way you love her…I'll always be your second choice." Tears began rolling down her cheek…

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up.

"Gwen, I…" He closed his eyes. "I proposed to Miss Swann because it seemed the proper thing to do…"

"Don't lie to me. She's beautiful…and I don't blame you…" Her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You're beautiful."

"But you don't love me. You love her!"

"I don't love Miss Swann."

Gwen was stubborn. "I don't believe you."

"Believe this then."

James kissed her hard, a deep soul kiss. By the time he finished they were both gasping for air.

"So you desire me." she said sullenly.

"Are you deliberately being this stubborn or are you always this way? Let me say again, I never loved Miss Swann, not the way I do you. I put her up on a romantic pedestal, and convinced myself that I felt the most desperate love for her. She was what I considered to be the logical choice, based on reason…I didn't realize until she rejected me that both of us would have been miserable.

I don't consider her to be my first choice…"

Gwen interrupted him again. "You can't call me your first choice. I seduced you when you were drunk…"

James rolled his eyes. "I was not that drunk, Gwen! And I would never have made love to you if I hadn't wanted it. I may not have realized it until that point…"

"Made love?"

James stared at her, his eyes blazing with emotion.

"Yes, Gwen, made love…"

She sucked in a breath. Her eyes were pleading that he would answer her question correctly… "You don't love me…do you?"

"Gwen, listen to me. I'm going to say this and you'd better believe me: I love you. Yes, I might not have realized it until just recently. Yes, I realize that I've been stupid to have waited all these years. Yes, I'm a moron."

She gave a watery giggle.

"I'd known you since you were small and I never stopped to analyze my feelings until now…but I do love you with everything I am. More than anything. You are NOT a substitute for anyone. I thank God that Miss Swann had the sense to see what an ill conceived match we were. If anything, she would have been a substitute for YOU."

Gwen was silently crying, her body shaking from the emotion. He felt frantic. Suddenly, he felt more panic that she was crying than he had before any battle.

"Don't cry. I can't bear it…please, stop." He wiped away her tears with one of the napkins…

"I…I…I love you too!" she sobbed.

"Oh, Gwen…" He crushed her into his arms and began scattering kisses all over her face…

Then he carried her to their bed and claimed her in everyway he could, as if he could brand his name upon her soul. She received his attentions in much the same way. No one would ever share James. Never. He was hers forever. Just as she was his…

Much later, James held her in his arms, quite content. He could stay in his bed with his beautiful Gwen forever. James was astonished with the strength of his emotions. Over the years, the duties of command had necessitated that he keep any and all emotion under wraps. Men followed you better if you were the silent stalwart commander, especially for a man so young.

Yet he couldn't hold back the emotions he felt about his Gwen. She was beautiful and lovely and completely his. He'd make sure of the last. She was his and everyone would know it. If a man so much as looked at his wife in the wrong way…

Even still, James was cursing himself for not noticing her sooner, for not realizing his feelings sooner. The mere thought that she might have married someone else gave James a cold barren feeling that made him sick to his stomach. He frowned in contemplation of that…

Gwen looked up at him with a smile…and nothing else. It seems in the past few hours James had managed to rid her of any modesty she might have previously held. It suited him to do so, since he had the distinct feeling his favorite view of his wife would be when she wore nothing at all…and he was quite happy with the idea of making sure she wore nothing quite often…

"What?" she inquired of James.

He shrugged. "I was thinking…"

"Congratulations…"

James pinched her on the arm which earned the retaliation of a nip on his chest… "I was thinking of how I was so stupid to not have noticed you sooner…"

She grinned. "Yes, you were."

"And thinking about how terrible it would have been if you'd married someone else if I'd remained ignorant…"

"But I didn't," Gwen reminded him, "I had already made the decision not to marry. It seemed unfair to anyone I would marry when I already knew I loved another…Besides, I'm not sure John would have allowed me to marry…Did you know he knew that I loved you?"

"No, but he knew I loved you. It seems he had observed far more than we thought…"

"Actually, it seems everyone knew of my feelings…No doubt all of Port Royal. It was quite embarrassing when I was told that…"

"Not everyone…though I'm certainly glad I know now…"

She smiled at him, her love evident in her eyes. "I am too."

The kissed each other softly.

"Gwen, I want to say again that I love you more than anything. I would do anything for your happiness…"

She squeezed him. "I love you too, and as long as you love me, I'll not want for anything."

Later she said, "You know, perhaps we should thank Jack Sparrow…"

James frowned in disdain. "Thank a pirate? Gwen!"

"Think about it…if not for him, Elizabeth wouldn't have been rescued…and Will would never have declared his feelings for her at the hanging…then she would have remained engaged to you…Then we wouldn't be right here…"

"Good God, Gwen! Now you've made me realize that I'm practically beholden to that pirate for my happiness!"

She giggled. "Drives you crazy, doesn't it?"

He growled at her in mock disapproval. "I'll teach you for being so saucy, love!"

And when they made love again, it was sweeter than ever before, filled with laughter and tenderness. Commodore James Norrington had found love and never was there a more deserving person…

**Author's Note: **I know...Gwen is a little to sappy, but I'll delete the story if no one likes it...and save it to read myself. :)


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